어머니 이제 알고 싶어요.

                                

 

 

 

                                                 어머니

                                                 그 날

                                                 머리깎게 돈 달라고 한 날

                                                 막 이쁜데 왜 깎느냐고 한 날

                                                 선생님한테 머리길다고

                                                 대뿌리로 손등 10대 맞었네요

                                                 돈 없어서 그러셨죠.

 

                                                  어머니

                                                  여름 날

                                                  수제비 끓여주면서

                                                  밥보다 수제비가 더 맛 있다고 하신 날

                                                  그 날 양식이 떨어졌었죠.

 

                                                   어머니

                                                   졸업 앨범값 달라고 한 날

                                                   친구한테 빌려보면 된다고 하신 날

                                                   그 날 이후로

                                                   못 빌려 봤네요

                                                   25년뒤 모교에 특강갔다가

                                                   교장생님이 보여줘서 처음 봤는데

                                                   설움을 참으려 허벅지를 꼬집었네요

 

                                                    어머니

                                                    제주도 수학여행비 마감 날

                                                    배멀미한다고 커서 가라고 하신 말

                                                    그 말 믿고

                                                    제주도 신혼여행

                                                     비행기 타고 갔네요

 

                                                     어머니

                                                     딸 반 한 아이가

                                                     제주도 못 간다 하여

                                                     용돈이랑 챙겨서 보내 주었네요

                                                      어머니 그냥 가만히 미소만 지어 주세요

 

 

 

 

                                                       어머니

                                                       못자리 두레로 물 퍼올리고 학교 가던 날

                                                        100번만 하자고 해놓고

                                                       300번 퍼 올린 날

                                                       그 날 지각할까봐 무지 뛰었습니다.

 

                                                        어머니

                                                        남의 집 닭 한 마리

                                                        우리집 마당 허적거릴때

                                                        모가지를 비틀어 국 끓여 주셨죠

                                                        그 날

                                                        배고픈 가난의 모가지를

                                                        확 비틀어 버리셨죠

 

                                                        어머니

                                                        서근세 물 뚝 뚝 떨어지는 부엌에서

                                                        부짓깽이로 아궁이를 두드리며

                                                        한 소리 하시던 날

                                                        먼저 가신 아버님을 두들겼죠.

 

                                                         어머니

                                                         그 날 기억나세요

                                                         옆집에서 고구마 3개를 양재기에 담아

                                                         담 넘겨 주시던 날

                                                         속없는 아들 둘이서 서로 먹을려고 싸우다

                                                         양재기 날아 막둥이 오른쪽 이마에

                                                         찍혀 피 보이던 날

                                                          그때 어머님 말씀대로

                                                          가르마는 꼭 왼쪽가르마를 하고 다닙니다.

 

                                                          어머니

                                                          논 물코 보러 가시던 날

                                                          논길에서 졸다가 또랑에 빠지신 날

                                                          그 때는 웃었는데

                                                          희망없이 하루 하루 힘드셨죠.

 

 

                                                            어머니

                                                            아버지 가신 날

                                                            막둥이는 빵긋 빵긋 속없이 웃고

                                                             5살 형은 상여 꽃 안 준다고 울고

                                                             8살 형은 고구마 안 준다고 울고

                                                             당신은 무슨 생각에 우셨데요.

 

                                                             어머니

                                                             흉년 겨울

                                                             묵은지 한 바가지 얻어 먹이고

                                                             오뉴월 뙤약볕에 콩밭 메어주던 날

                                                             그 때도 꿈은 있으셨죠.

 

                                                             어머니 오래 오래 건강하시다

                                                             먼 길 가실 때 같이 가요

                                                             저 막등이 아버지 얼굴 몰라요

                                                             소개시켜 주셔야죠

 

                                                              어머니

                                                              셋째 장가간 날

                                                              빚 내어 며느리 금목걸이 해주고

                                                              돈 벌로 집 나가신 날

                                                              남의 집 살이는 어떻던가요.

 

                                                               어머니

                                                               아들이 송금한 돈 다썼다고

                                                               귀국하는 날 딴 사람되어

                                                               개정병원까지 갔다가 돌아오신 날

                                                               맨 정신으로 아들 못 보것던가요.

 

                                                                어머니

                                                                남의 논 모심는 날

                                                                허리춤 옷깃에 둘둘 감췄다가

                                                                흙가시지 않은 손으로 막둥이이게 전해준

                                                                 10원에 10개짜리 그 풀빵

                                                                저 그 빵 또 먹고싶어요

 

 

 

 

                                                                  어머니

                                                                  삶이 힘들어

                                                                  행상 다녀오신 첫 날

                                                                  이동네 저동네

                                                                  강아지도 사납고

                                                                  남정네들도 볼상 사납다고

                                                                  주저 앉으신 날

                                                                  저 하늘 봄비로 젖고

                                                                  당신의 눈물로 젖었지요

 

                                                                  어머니

                                                                  장에 가시던 날

                                                                  철없는 막둥이 떼어놓고 가시느라 힘드셨죠

                                                                  보리 두되빡 싸들고 약사러 가는 날인데

                                                                  속없이 따라나선 막둥이

                                                                  오늘은 부끄럽네요

 

                                                                  어머니

                                                                  세상에는 마음대로 안되는 일이 있데요

                                                                  내게 처음으로 삼겹살을 사준 며느리

                                                                  모든 것 다 해줄 수 있는데

                                                                  시아버님 라고 부를 단 한 번의 기회조차

                                                                  주지 못했네요

                                                                  드라마에서 다정한 시아버지 나오면

                                                                  미안해서 같이 못보네요

 

                                                                  어머니

                                                                  막둥이 어렸을 때 책을 즐겨 보던가요

                                                                  논매는 어머니 옆에서 흙 장난을 즐겨 하는가요

                                                                  이 나이에 다시 한번 기로에 서네요

 

                                                                  어머니

                                                                  우리와 같이 찍은 사진들

                                                                  왜 어머니만 잘라내셨어요

                                                                 그리 사셨어도 모자람이 있었나요

 

 

 

                                                                  어머니

                                                                  앞 선 딸이 보고싶고 그립죠

                                                                  딸 볼 일이 걱정스럽죠

                                                                  저도 누님이 그립숩니다

                                                                  어찌볼까 하네요

                                                                  지금도 수화기를 들면

                                                                  가끔 누님네 전화번호를 습관처럼 누르고 마네요

                                                                  받지 않네요

 

                                                                  어머니

                                                                  들판 건너 아버님 산소

                                                                  흰 천조각이 울먹거리데요

                                                                  그 날

                                                                  땀베인 모시적삼을 잎은 어머니 당신이셨죠

 

                                                                  어머니

                                                                  당신의 모진 세월

                                                                  팔폭 병풍으로 다 가려질까요

 

                                                                  어머니

                                                                  해질녁이면 항상 눈물을 보이셨죠

                                                                  왜 그러셨어요

                                                                  쉰이 되는데도

                                                                  여자의 눈물에 등 돌려요

                                                                  아마도 그 때 어머니의 눈물이 싫었었나 봐요.

 

 

                                                                  어머니

                                                                  이제야 그 연유를

                                                                  알고 싶은데

                                                                  정녕 당신은 몰라 몰라만 하고 계십니까

 

                                                                  오늘도

                                                                  사악한 자식은

                                                                  내 살 아프다

                                                                 그저 멍하니

                                                                  하늘만 바라보고 있습니다.

 

                                      -- http://blog.daum.net/ejehakfrh/7852542 에서 옴긴글 --